Egypt Cottage Monday. Back in the saddle.

Remember last entry, I was talking about the Monday gig at Egypt Cottage when I said;

This should be a weekly occurrence (if it's popular enough)

6 bloody punters. Oh well, with the other comics and a few other regulars who weren't actually on (John Scott and Al Daws were kindly filling out the audience) there were enough faces to just about make it worthwhile. For the record we had;

Simon Donald.
-VIZ comic head honcho was compare this week.
Christian Steel.
-Has been in the wars, but now he makes light of his worrying medical history.
Callum Cram.
-Returned to 'cram' in another helping. (Ho, ho. You can have that Callum.)
Les Paul Marshall.
-sang filthy lyrics to the tunes of chart favourites. Wore Panda make up and a wig. Has to be seen to be believed.
Vladamir McTavish.
-A Scotts comedian I'd actually heard of. A long way to come for six paying punters. We salute you.

And of course me.
Everything went pretty well- all the decent laughs went over - but I realised I've still got bits of filler that will never get more than a wry smile. I'll give these another shot - maybe with a bigger crowd these will take off a bit more - at least (law of averages) a few people will go with them. As Sara pointed out at the workshop, give any joke 3 chances before you bin it. Anyway - I've got a spot at The Royalty in Sunderland next Wed. (7th of Dec.)- so I'll try it all again- and a little bit more- I've got to do 15 minutes. This gig is most comics' favourite on our limited 'beginners' circuit. (limited to 2 now the Chillingham Arms night seems to be finished.)- The next stage is Places Like the Corner House where people are paying £6 to get in. So hopefully onwards and upwards.

TIP: RECORDING YOUR PERFORMANCE SO YOU CAN LISTEN BACK TO YOURSELF AND THE AUDIENCE REACTION IN VERY USEFUL. BUT ONLY IF YOU REMEMBER TO SWITCH THE BUGGER ON.

Gig Preparations.

I'm back at Egypt cottage again tonight but this time on stage. As far as I know Callum Cram is back again and John Scott is out inimitable host. This should be a weekly occurrence (if it's popular enough) so why not come down, 8.00 near the quayside - next to the old Tyne Tees Television building.

I was lucky the last New Word Order workshop was saturday as this gave me a chance to practice. Kate Fox was away so Sara Millican (she gets everywhere) took it. It was more casual chat that formal exercises this week, partly because of Sara's style and partly because there were only 4 people. Still, a very valuable session. Sara had texted all her top show-biz mates to ask their advice. Some great stuff- John scott advised studying The Aristocrats, Jerry Seinfeld and John Scott.

There was plenty of 'show and tell' time so I could try out my planned 10 minute routine. I was heartened that even with an audience of 4 people lined up in a big room-hardly conducive- I still got 3 or 4 big laughs. And discussing it afterwards it seemed people had found other bits funny - just not 'laugh out loud, in daylight, in a big room with 4 other people' funny. (I hope.)

There were a few barren patches that I tried to cut down / out. But when I looked at these wondering what to remove I thought of better things to replace them with. For example I had a line in Planet of the Apes - the musical, where instead of 'Take me to your leader' the astronauts used the phrase 'I want to speak to the organ grinder.' -Not a titter. I guess comedy based on common idioms works better if they're not common idioms of the '40's.
Then I thought- is it worth bringing my guitar all that way for (what was now) a very short song? Getting out the guitar would be a good finish so I tried to lengthen the song again rather than lose it. The astronaut is complaining about ape society, so I added the apes' response.

You arrogant humans, think that you can best us,
But we remember David Attenbourgh,
All he did was sexually molest us.

But ape civilisation, is equal, just and fair.
We even tolerate orang-utans,
Despite their ginger hair.

Anyway, tune in tomorrow to see how I did.

TIP: IF IN DOUBT, SHORTEN. IT'S BETTER TO HAVE A REALLY GOOD 5 MINUTES THAT A PATCHY 10. (DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO.)

Getting my arse in gear 2.

So... a gig on Monday at the Egypt Cottage, and a New Word Order comedy workshop at the Bridge Hotel Tomorrow to prepare for it.

This is the last in a series of three monthly workshops usually run by NWO's Kate Fox. We go through various activities to come up with new material and polish old stuff, improv. games, exploiting comedy staples, analyzing the masters - but by far the most valuable thing is just trying out new material in front of other comics. If something's not working they'll let you know, but in a way that won't have you wanting to jump off the high-level bridge- which can happen if you only find out on stage.

If possible I want to have my whole 7 - 10 minute set prepared so I can run through it at the workshop (time permitting).

"A funny thing happened on the way here... but I can't talk about that, I've got my set all worked out."

I might start with that - then maybe something based on the mic stands. (See Nov. 10th)
I had another idea to talk about my hair - just as Al Daws talked about his weight. I've got pretty big (not long) hair and maybe if I talk about it first the hecklers won't.

"This might look random but this doo has a name - the arsehole detector."

The (hopefully) guaranteed laughs (see Nov. 14th) will go in and, I'll probably bring back something about poor technology - based on the Sony Aibo robot puppy. Basically- what's the point of a robot puppy, when you could have a robot Lassie?
It's not that good in itself, but I stretch the point to compare building kit from night rider with the intelligence of a chava in a souped-up Nova, and C3PO with the language skills of a kid on the french exchange. I'm still not sure if it completely works but I've got a good joke to finish it off.

"Is it just me or is Jabba the Hutt just saying the lyrics to Lady Marmalade?
Mocha chocka lata yaya..."

I might include my stuff on the evolution of the cat- I thought this was pretty thin but on my (disastrous) first outing (Gig 2.) this was one of the few bits that worked.

If I can be bothered to bring a guitar I might finish with excerpts from my musical version of planet of the apes. An idea I stopped developing when someone told me the Simpsons had already done it.

Gig 5. Touch, if you will, my stomach.

This was me and Rich again, back at the Cumberland arms around May 2005.
I had a sampler from my music days which I'd been considering using somehow. I could record 8 phrases on it and play them back with the touch of a button and I thought there had to be comedy potential somewhere. My first idea was to make a crappy looking robot out of a shoe box and do a kind ot 'Tommorow's World' thing, with Rich slowly becoming less impressed with my amazing talking droid.

However, we decided it would be a lot better to record a celebrity voice instead, we considered doing a seance with Hendrix.

What's the afterlife like then Jimi?
Purple haze! All around.
Doen't sound like heaven. I Sense Jimi is still in purgatory, waiting to see if he makes it to heaven or not.
Dont know if I'm going up or down.

However, Rich pointed out that the funniest music celeb. is Prince. And as He's famously only 6 inches tall we went with the idea that prince would be in a box during the interview. So after announcing that I wouldn't need Rich this week, as I had a proper celeb. guest I conducted the interview, asking questions then pointing the mic. down into the box while cunningly pressing the sampler to generate the reply.

So Prince, do you like Newcastle?
Oh Yeah!
And have you just arrived, or have you been here a while?
It's been seven hours and 16 days!
Oh yes, you've just flown in from Africa where you were helping with Live 8, I believe you met Kofi Annan. What did you say to him?
You sexy mother fucka!

It ended when Prince escaped from the box and ran up Rich's trouser leg, we used a balled up sock Rich pulled up on a string. I don't know if anyone beyond the front row noticed this subtle prop, but the sketch as a whole was well recieved. We'll have to do it again sometime, if only to justify the hours I spent getting the sampler to work.

Every Monday night, Egypt Cottage.

On Monday went to the Egypt Cottage near they Quayside In Newcastle. It was the first of a new comedy night run by John Scott (compare) and Gavin Webster (Frequent headliner). They also do every Tuesday at the Chillingham Arms, Byker and every Wednesday somewhere in Sunderland. John and Gavin are both great performers, but as I don't want this to get too long I'll concentrate on the new boys.

First up was Callum Cram who I know from the New Word Order workshop. (Last one this Saturday.) It was only his sixth gig but he's coming on great. Callum's a big lad (tall) so he has the advantage of instant stage presence and he's always moving so he really makes an impression. His material's pretty good too- he did a lot of stuff on his day job as a postie and he also talked about the TV show 'lost' -how he would befriend the fat one, find him a nice place in the sun for a nap, maybe offer him a tinfoil blanket to make sure he wasn't cold and then maybe drizzle him in mango juice. Hisssss! 'Like a giant KFC twister.'

Next was Al Daws on his 11th gig. Al's a big lad (fat) so he has the advantage (disadvantage?) of having some material he's expected to do. Yes, like a lot of portly comedians Al spends a lot of time talking about his weight.

"I went to the gym to get rid of the man boobs - but I've just built up a layer of muscle behind them that lifts and pushes them together- I've given myself a wonder-bra basically."

All this is fair enough- if Al didn't mention it then eventually some drunk heckler would.

(Check out Al's comments below for more info. I didn't mean to imply Al only talks about his weight - the problem with me writing (sort of) reviews is a. What the hell do I know? and b. I can't remember much of the acts anyway. I'm sure everyone remembers coming out of a show thinking 'wasn't that great?' but completely unable to remember any of it. Maybe I should start taking notes- but then I guess people will think I'm stealing their act.)

One (small) criticism that applies to both is that while more polished comics build to a natural ending, Al and Callum appeared to be working through a longer set and then just decided to stop halfway through and it can look apologetic, 'Ooh I've done ok so far, I'll get off while I'm ahead.' Mind you, I only noticed this at all because I would have liked to hear more and Callum was saving some material for next week. (He should be praised for not just repeating the same set.)

Anyway - alongside Callum next week is ME! Doing my first performance in a while- I'd better get cracking.

TIP- DON'T WORRY IF YOU NEED A CHECKLIST OR EVEN NOTES ON STAGE, LOTS OF PEOPLE USE THEM AND THE AUDIENCE DON'T CARE. WOULD YOU RATHER FORGET TO SAY YOUR BEST BIT?

Gig 4. Part 2. You, your momma, and the horse you rode in on.

The second part of gig 4. I had seen somewhere a list of the ten best/worst country and western titles. Eg.

If bad luck was pennies, I'd have a shit load of pennies.
Kissing cousins. (Well, I say kissing.)
Don't sleep on the tracks A.K.A. One legged hobo blues.
I love you, your momma and the horse you road in on.

Actually I made all of those up. The only one I remember is the one I borrowed for the act, -'If I'd killed her when I wanted to, I'd be out of jail by now.' Normally I don't like any kind of plagiarism, but I didn't see this as stealing a joke -for all I know the original writer of this song was serious, so I'm no more stealing a joke than someone who quotes George Bush and makes fun of that. Not convinced? No, neither was I, so in the intro to the song my character explains that he didn't write the title.

"It's a co-lab-o-ration! Now, normally I don't do co-laboratin', on account 'a co-laboratin' with another man is just one step away from that there homee-sexy-ality."

He's a fairly unpleasant character -a homophobic misogynist, singing about wife murder.

"This here song's about how to treat your woman right and give her everything she deserves...a 1, a 2, a 1,2,3...Weeeell, I'm sitting in the jail house, I still got blood on my hands..."

Strangely this was once reviewed as 'endearing'. Possibly more about me than the character because my guitar playing went completely to pot and I endearingly struggled on regardless.

Gig 4. Part 1. 'It's a disgrace... full of drugs...'

Gig 4 part 1, because returning to the cumberland arms Rich and I did a sketch and, feeling more confident, I tried a comic song on my own.

Here is the sketch part. It was on a simple idea which I might still squeeze into some stand up. Having seen Quorn chicken fillets and Linda Macartney sausages I thought - who are they for? For vegetarians who still like the taste of meat- but have given it up on moral grounds. So why not a similar product for those who like the taste of human flesh, but who don't like the negative social stigma of cannibalism.

The actual sketch turned out to be a pete and dud style chat in the pub about giving something up, only after a minute did the audience realise it wasn't smoking. Rich suggested a lot of improvements and it changed so much that the Quorn-like product was never actually mentioned. I thought it had a lot of good lines.

Ex-cannibal- Getting rid of the scraps was always a worry.

Cannibal- You were lucky, I've never liked liver. Biggest organ in the bastard body that is.

It was also funny to have the social and physical welfare of people discussed by those who intended to eat them.

'They never get any excercise, they live in these tiny boxes...'

Mark Thomas / Rob Newman

I went to the gig last night expecting Thomas to be political and not knowing what to expect Newman to be. Well they were both political. I don`t like politics. Never have. Don`t read newspapers, don`t watch the news. I know some of you are thinking - thicko. But if you want I can prove I`m intelligent in other ways - I`m just not interested - the news to me is a list of bad things I can`t fix and a list of names I don`t know of people I`ll never meet. If anything it`s emotional rather than intellectual, I can`t drum up onterest in things that distant. It`s the same reason I don`t like football - 11 men I`ve never met against another 11 men I`ve never met - why do I care who wins?

so some of it to me came a bit close to rants and lectures. I don`t mind this persay, Bill Hicks could rant and still be the funniest thing you ever heard and The Mark Steel lectures teach you things that are interesting and funny. But Newman`s explanation of the real cause of WW1 being Iraqi oil, centainly wasn`t funny - and was surprisingly uninteresting considering it`s apparently true but practically unknown. Possibly I was dissappointed with newman because, if he hadn`t developed a social conscience (sell out) and just tried to be funny I`d really, really like him. Some of his ideas were great - his mime of the Americans building permanent bases, became the wrist action for foppish 18th century game, gaylord tennis. He suggested trains should be spilt not into first and standard, but various coaches, including Victorian scientists` club and the Hobo carriage - empty appart from straw, and you can only jump in once it`s moving. So when he`s not serious and up to date (yawn-personally) he`s whimsically in the romantic past. (Huzah!)

In the end I preffered Thomas - possibly because I expected not to. He related his latest stunts, attempts to trap crooked arms dealers, but in a very human way - some of the best laughs were the little details and personalities. (Of a protestant Irish Friend `But he`s not in the orange order or anything, I tested him - I said do you want to go for a walk, he said No t`anks Mark I`m fine here.`)

In all, some good moments- but it`s not really a comedy show - if you already know Bush is a Bastard and don`t want to hear it again, stay home.

Gig 3. Christmas is coming.

Me and rich. Dec. 2004. Cumberland arms.

The third gig, and as the festive season was coming we had the luxury of a theme. It`s so much easier to start with than a completely blank canvas. I went for a mix of 2 points - christmas and cryptozoology. Im a big fan of Fortean times - the magazine of weird stuff, Loch Ness Monsters, UFO`s etc. I don`t believe any of this stuff but it`s always entertaining, and unlike some other weird stuff publications always contains some proper literature, history and folklore. Anyway - the basic idea was an interview with a monster hunter who was out to prove Santa existed using the same techniques others use looking for big foot.

It was still very Peter Cooke influenced, my character had a lot of Sir Arthur Streebe Greebling. And we made a big use of props, which in this case worked well. It was a long sketch, getting on for 10 minutes but one of the best recieved as there was a lot happeing to keep up the interest. It culminated in me revealing the apparatus which would trap an elf, who could then be interrogated. I pulled a cloth off a large, festively decorated rat-trap, baited with a mince pie. On the night the trap audibly went off under the cloth, and had to be re-set, then failed to go off on the `elf` even though I was jabbing his head into the mechanism. Rather than this being a failure, it was 2 jokes for the price of one - the audience could clearly guess what was supposed to happen so didn`t need to see it, and seemed to prefer watching us struggle.

Another nice point about this gig was that though it was only our second appearance we already had a `following` a small knot of people who were really paying attention, and even trying to get those just chatting at the bar to shut up. Another success, and a welcome confidence booster after my solo spot.

TIP: DON`T WORRY ABOUT MAKING A FEW MISTAKES, IF YOU MEET IT WITH GOOD HUMOUR THE AUDIENCE WILL PROBABLY LAUGH MORE AT THE GAFF THAN WHATEVER IT WAS YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO.

Getting my arse in gear.

I`ve decided, as I do most weeks, that now is the time to knuckle down, get to work and become a man of action. Since starting this blog about my life as an aspiring comedian I haven`t actually done any gigs. Also, I saw that Sara Millican is through to the finals of the BBC new comedy awards. My second (disastrous) gig was also one of Sara`s first, and I`ve also met her at New Word Order workshops (more on them in a future entry.) Seeing how far Sara`s come in the same period has given me resolve to work a bit harder myself. I did get through to the first round of the BBC comp, but to find out how I failed to get any further you`ll have to wait for my account of that gig.

Anyway, I am going to increase my output - but first some input.

INPUT- Tomorrow I`m going to see Mark Thomas and Rob Newman in Durham. I`m not really sure what to expect. I like some of Thomas`s stuff, though for left-wing comedians called Mark who also teach you something I prefer Mark Steel. I think Thomas sometimes goes too far, like when he had a meeting with a company developing pig livers which could be used in human transplants. He`d made up some donor cards saying, `After my death I would like my organs to be chopped up and dumped in a bin.` He was trying to imply the evil money grabbing company would heartily endorse such a product.

I haven`t seen anything by Newman in years, though hopefully he`s still good. He did, after all, co-create History (...that`s you that is.) Today.

On Monday I`m going to Newcastle`s Egypt Cottage, for the first of what should be weekly comedy nights. Callumn ??? (God, I`m bad with names.) who I also met at a New Word Order workshop is doing a spot.

OUTPUT- With any luck I`ll blag a spot and be there myself the following Monday.

Guaranteed laughs???

As I said in the last post, what my stand up routine needs is more good guaranteed one liners- actual jokes, not just isn`t this funny, isn`t that rubbish, have you ever noticed how... Of course, what I really like is the little surreal wanderings and crazy ideas- but I think these will work a lot better if I have some good, safe, money in the bank jokes.

Anyway, here`s a few I`ve got that I think will work.

How do you start a teddy bears` race?
Go on ya bastards!
(This has to be yelled while miming a whip)

My father wanted to bring us up with the right attitude. He`d always say, don`t worry son, Life is just a game... It`s fun at first then you realise it`s a pointless waste of time.`

I love the Big Issue. When they were just begging I`d walk past feeling guilty, now they`re just badly stocked newsagents. I feel jusitified in taking my custom else where.


Hmmmm. I don`t think my set`s going to last the standard 7 minutes.

Gig 2. Oh Dear.

Continuing the story of my gigs to date, here`s gig number 2.
Is it boring to hear about each one? Well once I get up to date, The reports will be just about any new stuff I added and how it went generally- these early ones are pretty varied, so I think worth explaining.

Just me. Cumberland Arms. Sep 04? Stand up.

Following our sketch (see Gig 1.) John ??? asked us to play a night he was comparing that was just comedy. John (I forget his surname) Is a Newcastle comic who resembles a hobbit - and as Lord of the Rings was on at the time he could mine that comedy vein. Rich was busy and couldn`t make it, but feeling it was too good an opportunity to miss, I decided to do it myself.

However, though I had a few more sketches written, I didn`t have any material for 1 person. I decided to do some stand up. I still have it, as it was written out as an E-mail so I could get friends` opinions. Reading again now some of it doesn`t seem too bad....

I had a section on Magnum ice creams based on the seven dealy sins (now way out of date) `I mean, gluttony? What`s special about that one? -It comes with another ice cream?`

Far too much on James Bond. Mostly the new titles being not Bondy at all - `Tommorrow never dies` expresses exactly the same sentiment as `tommorrow - it`s always a day away` from Annie. This section did include a good bit on a possible explanation for all the rubbish sexist jokes in Bond `They were made at Pinewood in the sixties, the writers were never sure if they were working on `Dr. No` or `Carry on Doctor`- There`s cut out scenes where ursula Andress walks out of the sea, her bikini top flies off and hits kenneth Williams in the face.`

The most popular bit was me wondering how cats became domesticated. The dog theory, that they kept a wolf cub and it grew up and helped with the hunting - doesn`t really work with a lion cub.

Anyway, it was rubbish! A typical first gig. I`ve always preffered the weird observations and surreal meanderings of Eddie Izzard and Ross Noble to people who actually tell gags. In my mind I`d pictured the audience chuckling softly along to almost evey line. But that only happens if you`re very famous, very good or you`ve got them laughing early with a few good ones. I didn`t have any guaranteed laughs - no one liners which are funny even writen down.

My new idea is to have at least 10 and then fill that out with wry observations to make a 5 minute set. I`ll hopefully be trying this soon - but it`s taken me over a year to try pure stand up again.

TOP TIP: I WAS ALSO TOLD I WAS HOLDING THE MIC TOO CLOSE AND PEOPLE COULDN`T HEAR ME. ARSE.

Notebook.

One purpose of this blog is to act as a notebook for any ideas which might - eventually - become stand up. I`ll also put up finished ideas I`m pleased with so hopefully it won`t all be in the early experimental (i.e. not funny) stage. Here`s a few things in my note book.

Here`s what my notebook actually says...
`scientific development of super smooth surfaces for spider ice skating.` - I didn`t write enough here. I can`t think where this came from and it doesn`t seem funny anymore.

I`ve got a little doodle of a comic in that odd pose where to look relaxed they hold the mic in one hand and rest their elbow on the mike stand. Why? It can`t really be comfortable. There`s no way the stand would actually support them if they were genuinely leaning on it. I think I`ll try and do something about mic stand styles. People also say you shouldn`t hold it because it makes you look insecure. You`d think this would be contrasted by the fact that you`re standing on the stage in a comedy club talking to 50 people.

I`m sure comics do have stand envy when it comes to singers. You can`t say `3 men walk into a pub..` then strutt across the stage swinging the mic like Freddie Mercury.

HERONS- After Ross noble I got thinking- maybe he changed it to flamingos because they`re funnier? So I tried to think of Heron based humour. The purpose of the life sized plastic herons is to put them round ponds to stop real herons eating your fish. This works because herons will only eat alone. Why? Well, they`re leaning out looking into the pond - I think they`re scared of being pushed in. Occassional practical joker herons have ruined the communal dining experience for everyone. For the same reason Herons wont smell a flower when asked, or shake hands if you`re wearing a suspiciously large ring.

TIP FOR WANNABE COMICS (learn at the feet of the master): KEEP A NOTEBOOK WITH YOU ALWAYS- NEVER ASSUME YOU WILL REMEMBER AN IDEA, EVEN AFTER THINKING ABOUT A JOKE FOR 10 MINUTES I`VE STILL FORGOTTEN IT WITHIN AN HOUR.

Ross Noble.

I went to see Ross Noble at the Theatre Royal on Friday.

I`ve been a fan for a long while, but this was the first time I`d seen him live. The thing everyone says about him is he improvises a lot of his stuff- and it certainly seems to be true. He spent a lot of time discussing the dress and occupations of people in the front row, which must be different everynight and he mentioned the hunting shop just down the road from the theatre- which he surely won`t do in Manchester.

Now I think that spontinaeity in comedians is a bit overrated. I know we all want to believe (for some reason) that these people are just making it up, but isn`t it a bit childish? It can feel like a cheat when you see a comic do the same act twice - but why- we`re not upset when Hamlet is the same two nights running. ( "I thought it was an accident when he drank the poison, but he did it the next day too.") If you loved an act the first time, went back the next night and were upset because it was all the same- then you need to grow up.

That said- Noble is brilliant, but we should praise his charm above his spontinaeity. What`s great is that we don`t care when he goes off at a new tangent because we know whatever he comes up with will be as good as the vague plans he`s detouring from.

So what did he say? Well none of this will make sense out of context but he touched on...
Narcoleptic horses.
The French speaking lifts in Mal Maison Hotels- The lift said sic. `ou et jou de port` - which noble heard as -`ello geordie boy`
Sunderland being rubbish- prompted by the Macams who stole the vacant box for the second half.
Flamingo hunting - the hunting shop having a decoy flamingo in the window.

One last thing- we passed the shop on the way home and it was a heron. So here`s a puzzler - either Ross Noble doesn`t know the difference between a Heron and a Flamingo, or he couldn`t think of anything funny to say about plastic Herons. Which is is? They both seem pretty unlikely to me.

Gig 1. `If it wasn`t nailed down he`d covet it.`

If this blog is going to plot my course as an aspiring comic (meteoric rise to stardom) I might as well start at the begining- so on days when I can`t think of anything new to report I`ll think back and try to remember the gigs I`ve done so far. So here we go...

Gig 1. Me and Rich. Cumberland Arms. August? 2005. - Pearly Gates.

Rich is a friend who agreed to help out by playing the other roles in sketches. He`s great- usually funnier than me, but he has no ambitions to write or make a career out of it. Usually I have a pretty fully formed sketch and in rehersing it we chop and change so Rich might add a fair bit to the finished product.

The Cumberland arms is a pub in Byker - Near the Cluny, overlooking Ouseburn, great in the Summer- It has various music and poetry nights. We always performed at Home Cookin` a free for all the first Sat. of every month. It`s a good room and the crowd and acts are nicely mixed- there`s usually not much comedy on - so even if you`re not too good you`ll still be warmly recieved if you`re following a busker with 3 Bod Dylan rip-offs.

The sketch was one I`d written on holiday after finishing a Peter Cooke biography. It`s about a mild old man who dies and goes to heaven- and wants to be a pirate as reward. I think the christian idea of heaven is a bit weird- we vaguely imagine a place where we can do whatever we want, but for most people this would include a lot of the stuff we`d resisted doing in order to get there. As Mr. Atley says to saint Peter...

"I stayed off the piracy in life you see- I kept a budgie. I could have had a parrot- only I thought it might set me off."

I was really pleased with the sketch, but I think it may be too long- we`ve done it a lot since and I think it`ll have to be shelved or we`ll try a 3 minute version. Still, it always goes down pretty well, people like the stupid beards if nothing else.
Anyway- the sketch worked and we were on our way...

Belly Rub.

I went to see the sketch group sometimes known as Belly Rub (though nobody used the name last night, maybe they`ve dropped it). I`d met Tom at a couple of gigs but this was the first time I`d seen their material. They`d organised the gig themselves, and it was certainly a slicker evening than most of the local comedy nights I'd been to -though they did want 4 pounds on the door - so you gets what you pays for. The gig was more like a private party, the audience being mostly friends / friends of friends and hence were very attentive and respectfully quiet. This was just as well, as though The Establishment is a very stylish modern bar, it's not a natural comedy venue- there's no stage- and if people hadn't been willing to keep quiet and stand during the performance then most people wouldn't have seen / heard anything.
So were they any good... Yes. Well written sketches in the Python tradition ('This isn't a Lift it's my office. BING! 5th Floor!' 'You may have wondered why you are different to the other boys - the truth is son you're a penguine.') Not to say it's derivative- you can spot the influences, but I've never minded that as long as it's funny and not a wholesale rip-off. Tom's main partner (I forgot his name-sue me.) is a great actor and his accents and exaggeration really add - Tom himself is pretty much the same in each sketch but they work well together. The supporting actress is also great in the sketches, though her comedy songs were a tad long (possibly the point where a less friendly audience might lose interest.) Other high points were the Goth watching sketch and coming out of the closet as a soft rock fan.
All in all a good night, but is there enough general interest to make this kind of event a regular occurance?- I hope so. A sketch based comedy night (Where the audience expect the format, the performers are prepared to put the work in and have the control of the venue to guarantee props mics and FXare all working) would be a great addition to the Newcastle scene.

Getting Started.

I've decided to make this my comedy Blog - though it was originally set up as part of my Computer Assisted Languauge Learning course at Newcastle Uni. But I`m doing enough of that elsewhere. The comedy, however, is falling by the wayside so if I try to keep up this blog it may help out. Sometimes it`ll be a diary of what I`ve done, or seen and sometimes it`ll be a notebook where I can jot down ideas. (I don`t know why I`m writing this as if it`s for someone else-noone`s going to read it.)

Tonight I`m going to see the comedy sketch group Belly Rub, at the Establishment Mosley St, Newcastle - I`ll tell you what I thought tomorrow.