Gig 96.

I'm back! I've had a baby everyone - the gorgeous George. And if that wasn't enough I've also been incredibly busy at work, so I haven't blogged in about 6 months. But I also haven't written anything or done any gigs so I'd have nothing to write about anyway. But last week I forced myself to do a new 5 minutes at the dog and parrot. Most of it was bobins, I've been away too long and my comedy filter isn't working. One thing that did stick was a version of the Jam's That's entertainment. Do you know it?

THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT - Paul Weller
A police car and a screaming siren -
A pnuematic drill and ripped up concrete -
A baby waiting and stray dog howling -
The screech of brakes and lamplights blinking -
that's entertainment.

A smash of glass and the rumble of boots -
An electric train and a ripped up 'phone booth -
Paint splattered walls and the cry of a tomcat -
Lights going out and a kick in the balls -

that's entertainment.

Days of speed and slow time Mondays -
Pissing down with rain on a boring Wednesday -
Watching the news and not eating your tea -
A freezing cold flat and damp on the walls -

that's entertainment.

Waking up at 6 a.m. on a cool warm morning -
Opening the windows and breathing in petrol -
An amateur band rehearsing in a nearby yard -
Watching the tele and thinking about your holidays -

that's entertainment.
Waking up from bad dreams and smoking cigarettes -
Cuddling a warm girl and smelling stale perfume -
A hot summers' day and sticky black tarmac -
Feeding ducks in the park and wishing you were faraway -

that's entertainment.

Two lovers kissing amongst the scream of midnight -
Two lovers missing the tranquility of solitude -
Getting a cab and travelling on buses -
Reading the grafitti about slash seat not fares -

that's entertainment.

Well that doesn't sound very entertaining to me, so I came up with...

A morcombe and wise christmas special
Bruce forsyth spinning plates on the geneation game
an hour long episode of the new dr. who
but not christopher ecleston, he was a bit po faced.

that's entertainment.

Watching allo allo on a dreary Sunday
The fallen madonna with the big boobies, good moaning
a monkey heavy episode of you've been framed
a crash on top gear and clarkson's in a wheel chair.

that's entertainment.