Gig Preparations.

I'm back at Egypt cottage again tonight but this time on stage. As far as I know Callum Cram is back again and John Scott is out inimitable host. This should be a weekly occurrence (if it's popular enough) so why not come down, 8.00 near the quayside - next to the old Tyne Tees Television building.

I was lucky the last New Word Order workshop was saturday as this gave me a chance to practice. Kate Fox was away so Sara Millican (she gets everywhere) took it. It was more casual chat that formal exercises this week, partly because of Sara's style and partly because there were only 4 people. Still, a very valuable session. Sara had texted all her top show-biz mates to ask their advice. Some great stuff- John scott advised studying The Aristocrats, Jerry Seinfeld and John Scott.

There was plenty of 'show and tell' time so I could try out my planned 10 minute routine. I was heartened that even with an audience of 4 people lined up in a big room-hardly conducive- I still got 3 or 4 big laughs. And discussing it afterwards it seemed people had found other bits funny - just not 'laugh out loud, in daylight, in a big room with 4 other people' funny. (I hope.)

There were a few barren patches that I tried to cut down / out. But when I looked at these wondering what to remove I thought of better things to replace them with. For example I had a line in Planet of the Apes - the musical, where instead of 'Take me to your leader' the astronauts used the phrase 'I want to speak to the organ grinder.' -Not a titter. I guess comedy based on common idioms works better if they're not common idioms of the '40's.
Then I thought- is it worth bringing my guitar all that way for (what was now) a very short song? Getting out the guitar would be a good finish so I tried to lengthen the song again rather than lose it. The astronaut is complaining about ape society, so I added the apes' response.

You arrogant humans, think that you can best us,
But we remember David Attenbourgh,
All he did was sexually molest us.

But ape civilisation, is equal, just and fair.
We even tolerate orang-utans,
Despite their ginger hair.

Anyway, tune in tomorrow to see how I did.

TIP: IF IN DOUBT, SHORTEN. IT'S BETTER TO HAVE A REALLY GOOD 5 MINUTES THAT A PATCHY 10. (DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO.)