Snowball.

We got a leaflets through our door this week, from the police. This was whole printed leaflet about 1 guy with an ASBO and how we should now look out for him, as he's not allowed in the area. But one thing I spotted, his name was John Martin Snowball. Now wonder he turned out a bad 'un. How can a kid suceed with the name of a persian cat and a gay drink. He's been ridiculed and fighting back since he was a kid.

I can imagine him at 12, when the taunting really started to get bad, pleading with his father to let him change it.

"No way son, that's the family name. You should be proud to be a snowball! You're too soft. It's your mother's fault, she handled you with kid gloves and now she can't let go. But when you're a snow ball you've got to be hard, you've got to be firm, you've got to stay cool. You can't just fall to pieces every time something throws you. You've got to stand up to those bullies. Ignore them, if they try to intimidate you and it doesn't work- you come out the bigger man. Just remember that, you're a snowball- they can push you round all they want. it just makes you bigger than them.

There's a proud family tradition of snowballs. I'm not saying all snowballs are good. we've had some bad ones, your auntie Phylis Snowball, she was a bad un, there was something deep down inside of her, something nasty. Something nobody knew about till it was too late. Then there was Great Uncle George Snowball, he was a conciencious objector in the war, a coward he was, there's nothing worse than a snowball with a yellow streak."