Turkey Jerky.

Tomorrow the LLC is running again, but I'm in York - at James Christopher's gig which he runs in flagrant competition with ours. I've decided to give my cowboy character another outing- and here's another song he could do. Though probably won't tomorrow, because I haven't worked the music out yet.

Howdy folks, you know I have to make a living writing comercials sometimes, and here's one that's running about every 20 minutes on alabama state radio. It's for jerky, not beef jerky, turkey jerky. Most people don't know you can jerk a turkey, but you can jerk most anything if you've a mind to. It's not the most apetizing of jerky, is turkey - but it sells because people like saying it. Anyhoo.. the comercial goes like this...

I saw a bird who looked like a jerk
but I gave him a chance 'cos he wanted to work
gave him a shotgave that turkey a job
but he goofed off and he goofed around
and you know what i found
that turkey was a no good low down slob

one day he didn't show, he'd split and taken my car
well, I'm telling you that turkey wont get far

When i catch that jerky turkey
I'm gonna make some turkey jerky
i'll pull off his flesh and dry it in the sun
I'll make tasty strips of turkey jerky
from that no good jerky turkey
then I'm gonna get some beer and have some fun.

Gonna slice his gizzard and stomp on his balls
and hang the bits from my south-facing walls
then leave them in a marinade to soak
I'll pull off his wings, shove 'em up his ass
and sweeten it up with a little molasses
salt and pepper and chilli and hickery smoke