crazy miniature golf

Is it miniature golf or crazy golf? It's not really miniature. The ball's the same size, the stick's the same size, the hole's the same size. The hole's just nearer. Nearer golf is what it should be called. Miniature golf would mean tiny weanie clubs and balls. And to play it you'd have to be shrunk down all tiny weanie. And then it'd feel exactly the same- pointless.

But it's not that crazy either. The oddest thing you're likely to find is the windmill. You hit your ball in the front - it comes out the back. Not that strange really. If you hit the ball into the windmill and it groaned, clutched it's belly with its wings and said 'Ya got me, oh lord, ya got me!' and 'Hold me, it's getting dark, so... cold...' and died in your arms - that'd be pretty crazy.

In fact normal golf is the strangest of the lot. Imagine 'crazy' golf was invented first, then somone came up with 'normal' golf..

-I've taken up a new knid of golf.
Really?
-Yeah. You know the hole? It's like 300 yards away.
Shit off!
-No, really. And you need like 10 different sticks to hit it. And it costs about 30 quid a game.
Bollocks!
-And you have to dress like Val Doonican, and sometimes you hit it so far you need a special little car to drive to the ball.
That. is. mental.