Royal Navy Submarine- There's more below the surface.

The theme is advertising at LLC tonight, a subject most comics have a bit on. I saw a poster with the above title and picture promoting the royal navy. I know what they were going for. They're trying for a play on words. Life on a submarine isn't what you expect. There's more to it. There are a huge variety of roles and skills in play, the crew contains scientists, chefs, navigators, people with language, computer and communications skills. There's more below the surface. That's what they're going for. But when you see a big picture of a rising submarine, and the words 'There's more below the surface' the actual impression given is that this poster is there to inform me that there's more bits of submarine under the water. If this is news to you, don't join the navy. The last thing they need is someone turning up on the first day of training saying;

'Hang on. How are 200 of us supposed to get in there? It's only about a foot tall, apart from that sticky up bit.'

'No, there's more of it under the water.'

'Oh right.'

Voyager.

Floating through space now somewhere is the voyager space craft. And on the side is this picture to show any aliens what we look like. And we're naked. Is this the first impression we want to give? They might be impressed by the technology, but they'll be picturing our scientists building it naked. There's also a record with some Beethoven on it (that's just wrong anyway- a space ship with an LP, it's like having a car with a sundial.) But even if they're impressed by the music, they'll be imagining the whole orchestra in the nuddy. And the record, to make sure it doesn't warp or rust, is made of solid gold. That's just dangerous. Aliens think we're so rich we make our LP's out of gold, and we flounce about in the nude - We're just asking to get mugged.

So aliens will expect us to be nude. But we expect aliens to be nude, when the little grey men come out of the space ship they're allways nude. ET was nude and that's for kids. Why? Who invents intergalactic travel before pants?

jet pack crimp.

Practicing my crimping today. If you're not in the know, it's a form of rap/song/poetry/spokenword/nonsense invented by the mighty boosh. All the kids are doing it daddio. Didn't you even know that? Get with it grandad.

Jet Pack Crimp

See the flying fox, Oh.
Is he just a bat?
No, a proper fox with a proper jet pack.
Strapped on his red back
Reasonable jet pack
Buy 3 get 1 free
4 pack of jet packs
nice set of jet packs
suit a pack of pack rats
Don't forget the pack-a-mack
Windy up there
Layers
Layers
Vest and T-shit
Long Sleeved T-shirt
shirt and jersey
What about a waistcoat?
No, that's going too far, Just put your jacket on.
I feel the need, the need for tweed.
Argile, Harris, Orkney, Mull!