Oiginal comedy - airports, what's up with that?

Here's a routine I wrote in the Library last week when I should have been working. I'm not so sure now, it looks a bit 'Seinfeld' - by which I mean fairly predictable sounding observations, that only a genius can get away with. I don't think this would fit into my plan of having the audience give each joke marks - for that I need short different ideas - If I did this and got 2/10 for the first airport bit, people would wonder why I didn't take the hint and change the subject. Anyway - here it is, if anyone thinks there's stuff worth keeping here please leave a comment....

Hello
If you’ve paid to get in then I should tell you, I’m just trying out some new stuff so most of it might be shit. But I’m not getting paid. Your money goes to the guys you see later. Think of me as a free gift, I’m the exciting plastic toy you get with the crusty old cornflakes you’ve paid for.
-setting myself up for a fall here.

I might sit down. People say doing stand up comedy is terrifying –but it’s the standing up that’s terrifying, not the comedy. Standing up on your own to speak is always terrifying – court, school assemblies. Just sit down it’s great, just a chat in the pub. There are no lie down comedians- that’s too relaxed – you couldn’t be bothered to say anything. But altitude versus relaxed is not a linear graph –there’s a little blip here –kneeling. Kneeling down and speaking are never good. Proposing, begging for your life. Never watch a kneel down comedian –just someone sobbing while their life falls apart.

Anyway, I’ve had a holiday and just tried to come up with a few exciting, original comedy ideas. So here we go – British people like to moan and air travel.

It’s a cliché because it’s true. Most Brits love to moan. They’d rather by miserable and able to complain about it. You go to an airport and see a queue of 100 people all moaning in front of a check in desk that doesn’t open for 45 minutes.

-oh it’s a disgrace.
Yes- it would be a disgrace if you were forced to wait. But there’s a WH smiths, gregs, a pub – all human life is here. You’re moaning in a queue – I’m having the time of my life. You’ve stood still for an hour- I’ve had 3 pints and a custard doughnut. I’ve pretended to finish a sudoku in record time.

The ones that really get me are the burly guys- they’re not content to complain about waiting in a queue they don’t have to wait in, they have to complain about carrying a suitcase they don’t have to carry.
-this isn’t getting any lighter!
-Well put it down! It’s an inch off the ground.
What does he think? That the floor might collapse if it has to carry his weight and the bags?

If you ever go on a camping trip with one of these guys make a deal – I’ll carry both bags if you carry me.. yeah, alright, that seems fair.

It’s not as if it makes any difference who checks in first- we’re all getting on the plane – it’s not an Indian train –there’s no chance of being so late you have to sit on the roof.

-It’s to get the best seats.- it’s a plane, not a theatre. If there was only one giant window at the front you might have a point.

It’s not a concert. –oh we had great seats I could see everything. There’s me at the back, -oh I’m missing this gorgeous spectacle- why didn’t I bring my opera glasses.