Galacticon 4.

Planet names.
Why do planets have weird names in sci-fi movies? Endor, Galifrey… I bet they all mean the same… earth, dirt, ground, what you stand on. Because when you try to think of a name for the whole planet – we’re probably not very sophisticated at that stage. And it’s got to be the same everywhere. You ask Superman what does ‘Krypton’ actually mean; ‘Well it roughly translates as ‘ the ground’. If Kirk is talking to spock;
‘Tell me Spock…what does…the name.. of your planet …actually ..mean?’
‘Well captain, a crude translation would be –the shit we walk around on.. you know mud.’

What’s worse though is when they number planets. Galacticon 6, Omnicron persii 8. Why? I thinks its weird when people don’t name their pets, but their planets?

‘Welcome to our planet, home of a billion souls, cradle of myriad lifeforms and natural wonders… we call it lamariax. (or soil.)
‘And what of the other 4 planets in your system?’
‘Larmariax 2,3,4 and 5…. What? You try coming up with a catchy title.’
What a kick in the teeth if you live on Galacticon 4. You’d be trying to cover it up;
‘Yeah, I’m from Galacticon (cough)’
‘Oh, a fellow Galacticonian. Well, you must know Bob.’
‘Actually, I’m from galacticon 4.’
‘Oh, right. Erm.’

Nobody wants to live in a number. This is why people take down the ‘23’ and put up a little plaques saying ‘Sea view cottage’. I bet the postmen love that.

As you probably guessed I'm busy again today and I've put some old stand up notes that I found on a disk. If anyone thinks any of it is remotely worth keeping please drop me a line.

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TUESDAY 11TH OF APRIL -
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