Gone shows and gong shows.

Remember I said last time at the Egypt 'felt like the beginning of the end'? Well the latest North by North East comedy news email says that Mondays at the Egypt have been cancelled until 'we can find a room with some people in it.'

Oh well, there goes my once a week guaranteed gig. But it was probably never going to take off there, it's just too far from everything, I'd never been myself before. Hopefully they'll relocate quick and get going again - i'd vote for the Bridge Hotel's upstairs room, or the Engima bar - which is a little hard to find but is actually fairly central, and they have a video screen so you can pretend you're on telly.

Anyway. If anyone wants to continue meeting somewhere once a week, then let me know - I'd be up for that. If an audience turns up we can carry on as before, and if it's just us comics we can just have a beer and skittles night. Another option is to have something we can do for fun and profit ourselves and that punters can also watch should any turn up. I think going through your act for 3 other comics would be slightly too pathetic, but possibly some kind of improv. might be fun. I'd daydreamed about having a Sunday Afternoon radio 4 club -where we could meet and play 'just a minute'. You may say I'm a dreamer, and in this case I probably am the only one.

Well, as one door closes another opens - I enrolled myself for the Middlesborough gong show. (see: www.thefunnymagnet.co.uk) This is a competition show, something like the poetry slam (see december 4th entry) but rather than 3 random people giving scores, 3 random people have red cards - and when they all go up you're off. Anyone who lasts over 5 minutes (or the best 4 according to another report) goes onstage at the end for a clap-off. And the comic with the loudest applause wins 100 of your English pounds.

It sounds a bit nerve racking, but i guess it's really just illustrating what happens anyway. It think most of an audience will decide if they like you in the first minute, it's just that we don't normally get to see the little red cards going up.

MY NEXT GIG: THE GONG SHOW - DICKENS INN MIDDLESBOROUGH SUN 5TH FEB.

THE EGYPT IS DEAD BUT THE SUNDERLAND ROYALTY IS STILL GOING STRONG, EVERY WED. THIS WEEK -Tonights compere is Matt Reed. Headline act is the rather excellent Dominic Woodward with support from Lee Teah and Flash plus more TBC.