The Knockers on the Lockers.

(To be sung in a music-hall stylee, possibly with actions.)

Yesterday I went to my local swimming pool,
I noticed a new feature, I thought was rather cool,
On all the little boxes where you store your shoes and clothes,
Are great big brass door knockers, and now everybody knows...

They have knockers on the lockers at the local swimming pool,
They have knockers on the lockers at the local swimming pool,
They have knockers on the lockers at the local swimming pool,
They have knockers on the lockers at the local swimming pool.

Some of the female swimmers don't think that they are cool,
they tend to laugh and point and sneer and jeer and ridicule.
They say, 'Knockers on the lockers, we simply can't abide,
What use is a knocker when there is no one inside?'

They're the knockers of the knockers on the lockers at pool,
They're the knockers of the knockers on the lockers at pool,
They're the knockers of the knockers on the lockers at pool,
They put the mockers on the knockers on the lockers at pool.

Judge not, lest ye be judged, so the bible say.
As they had judged the lockers, they were judged themselves that day,
I looked to see a flaw in them, which I could tear to bits,
And noticed that each one of them had tiny thurpenny bits.

They've no knockers have the knockers of the knockers on the lockers,
They've no knockers have the knockers of the knockers on the lockers,
They've no knockers have the knockers of the knockers on the lockers,
On the lockers at the local swimming pool.

NEXT GIGS-
-MONDAY, BEAT THE FROG, MANCHESTER.
-TUESDAY AT THE DOG AND PARROT - IT'S EVERY WEEK NOW, REMEMBER? CHECK THE LINK TO LONG LIVE COMEDY.