Frogs.

Yesterday I talked of possibly giving our LLC night optional themes, to give people a starting point for new material. I confidently claimed that it's easier to write about, for example frogs, than to write about anything. True? Well I had a think.

What's funny about frogs? Well, Paul McCartney's frog chorus for one. It's got to be the weirdest point of his career. He decide to back a song with burping frogs. (Let's face it, frogs don't sing they burp.) Even Captain Beefheart or Zappa would have thought twice about that one. But, you say, it was for a kids movie. Ah, that does explain it, I suppose. It was for a kids movie aout frogs? No, you sheepishly admit, it was about Rupert the bear. Right, so explain the frogs for me again, would you? It doesn't even have very froggy lyrics -'sink or swim, we all stand together.' Frogs are amphibious, they can stay underwater for fairly long, so sinking isn't that much of a problem. And if anything it should be, 'we all squat together.'

Frogs famously go through a metamorphosis, starting with frog spawn. This is bad for a start. 'Spawn' is without doubt the worst word associated with embrionic states, youngsters etc. There's too much of the 'spawn of satan' about it. In fact it's probably the other way round, Satan's offspring look worse by association with the disgusting jelly mass frogs start off as.

They then go, tadpole, tadpole front legs, tadpole all legs (frog with tail), frog. This is ridiculous. Other animals don't do this. Ok, birds come out of eggs, but when they do a small bird comes out, not a stoat which then grows wings and loses a pair of legs. If humans went for the froggy option we'd go - egg, fish, mermaid, monkey, child.

Then again, it might be easier. All mothercare would sell would be glass tanks and giant bottles of ants eggs. We'd be back in the pub celebrating the day after.

NEXT GIG;

TUESDAY 11TH OF JULY. SHOW STARTS 9.00 -
'LONG LIVE COMEDY'
THE DOG AND PARROT (UPSTAIRS)
-OPPOSITE THE CENTRE FOR LIFE, 2 MINS FROM CENTRAL STATION.
ONLY £2