PeetThompson's Blog.

Comedy in Newcastle.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

...with footwork impec-able.

I learned recently that a kind of saying in days of yore - specifically king Arthur's round table and all that - that if you expected to be knighted, it wouldn't happen. Presumably they wanted humble, pious knights. Pride is a sin, remember, and getting all puffed up because you were sure you were a dead cert for the next open slot at the old R.T. wasn't on.

But its a bit of a weird system really. Employing only the people who think they have no chance whatever at getting the job.
-Do you expect to be Knighted.
-Me? Not bloody likely, you want good soldiers and pious, saintly men - I'm a bastard and I'm rubbish with a lance. King Arthur came through the village last week, I threw a potatoe at him and called him a wanker!
-Ah, the very man for the job!

Maybe they're after young innocent lads, not yet corrupted - as Arthur himself was when he pulled the sword from the stone.

-Ah, Squire Roland, thou fightest well, and doth honour church and king, maybe one day you might be a knight.
-Not, I sir, I am but a simple farm lad.
-But through hard work and study, you may reach any height.
-Yes! I suppse, god willing, I expect even I one day...
-Ahhhhhh! Expect it do you? No way! You've pissed on your chips there mate.

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