Manchester and/or bust.

So I am just preparing to leave for Manchester, for what could be a very important gig. It's the chortle student comedy awards. Not as prestigious as some, but still if I could win (ho, ho.) it would probably get me started on the paying circuit. My main goal is just to do a decent gig and hence get a review which might at least make it a bit easier to get local gigs.

They have asked for 5-7 minutes, which I think I will have to interperet as 5 minutes, which will be allowed to run 2 minutes over before you get chucked off. My routine was bordering dangerously on 7 minutes and even over - so to allow for mistakes or big laughs I have had to shave a few jokes out of it. On friday Cal and Al saw my act - a bit weird playing to two people - and suggested taking this out...

"I'm trying to look after myself now. I used to eat a lot of bad meat, but now -No food with a face, If the chef can't be bothered to cut the head off, I'm not eating it."

But I was worried it was still on the long side - so I have now removed...

"I like kids jokes - here's one my nephew told me-
How do you start a teddy bears` race?
Go on ya bastards!"

And from a bit about how a child named after Isombard Kingdom Brunel would have a good start in life I had to cut...

"Yeah. I can't see isombard getting an A.S.B.O. - unless it's an order for an Atlantic sailing behemoth."

I was sorry to see these lines go, but I couldn't risk going over 7 minutes without knowing how strict the policy would be - for all I know it could lead to instant disqualification. Anyway- I feel in many ways like this is my first pro gig. By which I mean I have to drive for 6 hours, I can't drink, I won't get home until 3.00 on Tuesday morning and I don't know anyone there. But unlike a pro. I won't get paid.

NEXT GIG:

MONDAY 27th FEB. 8.30.
CHORTLE STUDENT COMEDY AWARDS, MANCHESTER HEAT - XS Malarkey.

TUESDAY 7TH MAR. 8.00.
THE BIG ONE, THE FIRST NIGHT OF 'LONG LIVE COMEDY'
THE DOG AND PARROT (UPSTAIRS)
-OPPOSITE THE CENTRE FOR LIFE, 2 MINS FROM CENTRAL STATION.
ONLY £2.